Vows Enthusiast Pillows

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"...until death do you a favor."

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

Wish upon a star (well it's worth a try).

"Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher. Lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses."

A masked man serenading

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Like they say, April lenders brings May spenders."

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"If he who hesitates is lost, why do we have to look before we leap?"

"Don't even think about it."

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

'My mother always told me if it ain't broke, date it.'

Heavenly voices.

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

'Hey, the Preacher is talking about you Dad.'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'It's always darkest just before Dawn.'

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'

"Well, apparently a mission statement and a value statement are not the same thing."

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'The longest journey beings with a single step.' Mao would have made great congressman!

"Some guys from the state board of medicine are here to see you."

A vending machine is dispensing free lunches for $10

'Just a minute!'