Vow Enthusiasts Pillows

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

"...until death do you a favor."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Like they say, April lenders brings May spenders."

"If he who hesitates is lost, why do we have to look before we leap?"

"Don't even think about it."

"You said it—everybody heard you."

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

'My mother always told me if it ain't broke, date it.'

Heavenly voices.

'Hey, the Preacher is talking about you Dad.'

'The longest journey beings with a single step.' Mao would have made great congressman!

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'Is this a trick question?'

Marriage counsellor with 'Better' and 'Worse' desk trays.

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'It's always darkest just before Dawn.'

"Some guys from the state board of medicine are here to see you."

A vending machine is dispensing free lunches for $10

'Just a minute!'