Vow Enthusiasts Mugs

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"...until death do you a favor."

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Like they say, April lenders brings May spenders."

"If he who hesitates is lost, why do we have to look before we leap?"

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"You said it—everybody heard you."

"Don't even think about it."

'My mother always told me if it ain't broke, date it.'

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

Heavenly voices.

Now that we've invented language, we have to be careful not to get quoted out of context.

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

See no evil, Hear No Evil, Speak no evil. . .

'Hey, the Preacher is talking about you Dad.'

Marriage counsellor with 'Better' and 'Worse' desk trays.

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'Is this a trick question?'

'The longest journey beings with a single step.' Mao would have made great congressman!

'It's always darkest just before Dawn.'

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

Abbey. Silent order.

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"Some guys from the state board of medicine are here to see you."