Vow Enjoyer Pillows

"Do you, Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure Josh takes his cholesterol lowering medication each day?"

"...until death do you a favor."

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

"You said it—everybody heard you."

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

'Are you kidding? Of course I take this woman - wouldn't you???'

'Hey, the Preacher is talking about you Dad.'

Let to water, wouldn't drink, kicked off farm.

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'Is this a trick question?'

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

Marriage counsellor with 'Better' and 'Worse' desk trays.

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?' The discovery that money actually does grow on trees.

'I do, but no promises.'

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

A fool and his money is soon someone's business partner

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you will never see him at work again."

Prehistoric Bird - early bird catching the worm

"I now mispronounce you, Mon and wafe"

"I cried because I had no shoes, the I met a horse who had no hooves, and a turtle who had no smoking jacket, and I laughed, because of something funny I remembered."