Virtual Vow Enthusiast Pillows

Zoom Wedding Crasher

"...until death do you a favor."

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

Marriage counsellor with 'Better' and 'Worse' desk trays.

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

Second marriage vows.

Toast

"Todd and I are doing our best to make it work by never meeting in real life."

Valentine's day may be a bit different this year

In Sickness And In Hell

'Do you, Isabel, promise to give it your best shot?'

"Yes, even with all the progress they're making in geriatrics, marriage is still 'til death do you part."

"I now mispronounce you, Mon and wafe"

"I, Matthew, promise to go along to get along."

"Do you, Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure Josh takes his cholesterol lowering medication each day?"

Father Tim is enjoying the new normal a bit too much.

"Renew our vows! What. . . all of them?!"

"I've got 200,000 Facebook followers, but not one real friend..."