Swear Word Aficionado Pillows

"Jim, I was asking for a simple explanation, not exclamation."

"Oh, he'll explode with rage when he tots up the F-words."

"F*ck off."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Punt Cake

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Nuts to you, too."

AA Meeting Here Today

"...until death do you a favor."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

The americanisation of vulture.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Privates Beach"

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Didn't you just say that?"

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"You have word-ill."

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Wow, what a DILF."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Punkins

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Laxatives - "I'm after some comic relief."

'Floppo' lottery rebranding