Vow Keeper Gifts

'I don't think you'll be breaking your vow of silence if you say 'Ahh' for me just this once, brother Benedict.'

'I promised to stick with you through thick and thin...but after twenty years of thin, when do we get to the thick?'

'No, that's not it. My one didn't have writing on it.'

'Yes, your wedding vows are still binding even if you DID get married during the Clinton administration.'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"You said it—everybody heard you."

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

Librarian.

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

'Are you kidding? Of course I take this woman - wouldn't you???'

Marriage counsellor with 'Better' and 'Worse' desk trays.

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'Is this a trick question?'

"Woah! Where's it say that?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"Okay, so the object of the game is to get into the most pedantic fight about the rules."

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

"Well, that's that. Can't do a research homework if the internet's down."

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

Second marriage vows.