Vow Keeper T-Shirts

'I promised to stick with you through thick and thin...but after twenty years of thin, when do we get to the thick?'

'No, that's not it. My one didn't have writing on it.'

'Yes, your wedding vows are still binding even if you DID get married during the Clinton administration.'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"You said it—everybody heard you."

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

Librarian.

'Are you kidding? Of course I take this woman - wouldn't you???'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'

'Is this a trick question?'

"Woah! Where's it say that?"

Marriage counsellor with 'Better' and 'Worse' desk trays.

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Okay, so the object of the game is to get into the most pedantic fight about the rules."

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

"Well, that's that. Can't do a research homework if the internet's down."

Second marriage vows.

"I, Matthew, promise to go along to get along."

"We're out of chrysanthemum." "I ordered chrysanthemum tea. This is not chrysanthemum tea. This is chamomile." "I've had a chrysanthemum tea every day for the last 80 years, and I'm still alive and well." "Are you trying to kill me?" "Are all old folks this superstitious?" "Superstition's always worked in the past."