Keeper Of Vows T-Shirts

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Mother's Love

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

'More pictures of your kids. Wow, they've really grown since yesterday.'

Scot country dancing,

'They'll never take my word for it -- You'd better put them in writing.'

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

"That book is kept downstairs in the Big Secret Important Book Room."

'Some day, people will wonder what these goal posts were.'

"I'm just pricing this second honeymoon you've been on about. . . were you thinking of tagging along?"

Ask Sadie. Sadie, how do you keep the romance alive in a senior relationship? Signed, Randy. *Actual reader question. I'd like to bring in my correspondent to handle this one. Oh, do I have to, Snookums? I don't know what to say to these people. I think I'm going to take a pass. DO IT OR NO NOOKIE FOR YOU UNTIL 2029. Communication and compromise.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"One day Son all this will be yours."

"Okay, so the object of the game is to get into the most pedantic fight about the rules."

" ...and this is the armor of my ancestor, 'Cederick the Unintimidating.'"

"Get that new hat you wanted, Martha! Punxsutawney Phil says we have six more weeks!"

"What happened to that tiny little ounce of passion we used to have?"

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A dancing couple

Of course my love is unconditional! We put it in the pre-nup, remember?

'Call me soft, but I miss the old traditions.'

"Baldo, Hispanic Heritage Month is about old traditions...and starting new ones."

'I don't think you'll be breaking your vow of silence if you say 'Ahh' for me just this once, brother Benedict.'

"We're out of chrysanthemum." "I ordered chrysanthemum tea. This is not chrysanthemum tea. This is chamomile." "I've had a chrysanthemum tea every day for the last 80 years, and I'm still alive and well." "Are you trying to kill me?" "Are all old folks this superstitious?" "Superstition's always worked in the past."

Remembering all the American Idols.

"Yeah, we renewed our vows--his vow of silence and my vow of abstinence."