Oath Taker Gifts

'No way you're ever going to comply with all of THAT'

'What wine goes with the Hippocratic Oath- my nephew graduated from medical school.'

Boy in court swearing oath on comic book

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

Exam

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

Empty Headed Schoolboy

Good Luck with your finals.

'I'm afraid I still have more questions than answers.'

Bigger Brain

History student: 'I remembered the Alamo ... but forgot everything else!'

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

'The penguin is upset...'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'Relax. This is only a test.'

'Math isn't really my long suit, Mrs. Ferguson -- how about I just take a drug test?'

"If the professor on Gilligan's Island can build a computer out of a coconut, then you can build a cell tower. Take some initiative!"

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

Student in the middle of an exam realises he has accidentally picked up dumb water.

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

School boy uses 'Sats Nav' to navigate his way to exam room.

Of course the teasts are complete nonsense but we're working on the basis that anyone who can be bothered to complete all 148 of them must be highly motivated...

'Are you kidding? Of course I take this woman - wouldn't you???'

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

"Does school really help people with real life?"

"Dad, I studied really hard! I stayed up till 1 in the morning."

Kid to fallen teacher: 'Will this be on the test?'