Oath Observer Gifts

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'Something has spooked the prairie dogs.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"She reminds me so much of myself at her age."

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

Trump attempting to pull down the thinker

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'I like it!'

Iraq War inquiry denied secret Bush-Blair documents.

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

'Serves me right for frowning.'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

'How can you be so cheap?'

Oculist.

"Please do not feed the animals." "Please do not eat the people."

"Yee-ouch! That's gotta hurt."

Hurdles with Steps

'You're wrong - this is brain surgery!'

The artist

"Dr. Cosgrove will be here in a minute. He's been cramming for this operation."

'Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob.'

"I feel like Brunnhilde, but in 'The Kentucky Cycle.'"