Oath Observer Gifts

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'Something has spooked the prairie dogs.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"She reminds me so much of myself at her age."

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

Trump attempting to pull down the thinker

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'I like it!'

Iraq War inquiry denied secret Bush-Blair documents.

"Please do not feed the animals." "Please do not eat the people."

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

Oculist.

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

Neuro Surgery. Staff only. Sorry, that took longer than I expected --- He has a lot of nerve!

'Serves me right for frowning.'

'How can you be so cheap?'

"Yee-ouch! That's gotta hurt."

Hurdles with Steps

'You're wrong - this is brain surgery!'

"Okay, people! Let's get our Taylor Swift on!"

The artist

"I feel like Brunnhilde, but in 'The Kentucky Cycle.'"