Options Observer Gifts

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'How dare they make these kind of suggestions?!'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'I suppose it was a blessing. Toward the end he was finding it very difficult to remain competitive.'

You are here.

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"At our company everything is based on trust. You can trust that you can trust no one."

'This doesn't look good.'

"Leak to the press: Brussels bail-outs are French currency manipulation, costing British bureaucrats' jobs!"

C'mon, Bob, the associate chases the manager's tail, the manager chases the VP's tail, and the VP chases my tail for me – You know how this works.

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

No matter where he worked, Frank always found himself six cubicles of separation removed from the fun crowd.

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

'I like it!'

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.