Visionary Jokester Gifts

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

Large print e-book.

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You should see a doctor. Maybe you have that West Nile thing.'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

Broad Minded

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"I think an IQ test would be more appropriate at this time."

'Tender and Juicy.'

Cowvid-19

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

A Pirate at the Opticians.

'So much for his new glasses...he didn't see that coming'