Portrait Jokester Gifts

'Please put down that photo of Cindy Crawford, ma'am.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

Cleaning the Horse

Builders fashion range

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

Monet At Open Mic Night

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

Builder's Crack T-shirt

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

Suits you Sir!

'Perhaps we should start off with an underwear transplant.'

Store sells too short t-shirts.

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

'Tender and Juicy.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

"We need someone who's responsible."

'I suppose you think you're sitting there imagining me in the nude.'

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

"That movie was released in 2015. It might be time for a reboot."

"Wanna join my hangouts circle?"

'Can't believe they didn't have your size.'

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

"An olive or a twist?"