Portrait Jokester Pillows

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

Cleaning the Horse

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

Monet At Open Mic Night

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

Builder's Crack T-shirt

'Tender and Juicy.'

Suits you Sir!

"We need someone who's responsible."

'Perhaps we should start off with an underwear transplant.'

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

Store sells too short t-shirts.

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

'I suppose you think you're sitting there imagining me in the nude.'

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

"An olive or a twist?"

"This space intentionally left blank."

"That movie was released in 2015. It might be time for a reboot."

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'