Identity Jokester Pillows

Hi I'm Bob....Bullshit I'm Bob

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

Broad Minded

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

Gang of Musicians

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

Serpent Instrument player

The woodwind section

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

'We got Ethan this accordion to make some extra money. People pay him not to play it.'

"About 77,000 years ago the human lineage split into two branches. Homo sapiens sapiens and Homo stupidicus dumbelsii."