Vision Improvement Gifts

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

'How do these glasses feel?'

Your Stronger Spectacles Are Ready At The Opticians!

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Large print e-book.

Hospital Departments

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'It's Blurred.'

Musical Eye Test

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

"With the new year approaching, I was hoping you could help with my resolution...."

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

The Pessimetrist.

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"