Vision Enhancer Gifts

'You won't find a better deal. Not for frameless.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

Ego Increasing School

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

"Stock photo, right?"

"Breast implants, filler and botox for your missus doesn't fulfill our home improvements criteria."

'I was struggling to see further than one kilometre, but thanks to laser eye surgery, I'm fine now...'

'Those work well. Now you hardly look anything like Superman.'

'Yes, normally, carrots are good for you eyes, but in your case they only increase your sense of smell.'

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

"Supersize me."

"The gentleman opposite would like to buy you more time."

"They're not identical twins—they're surgical twins."

Medical Silicon Paste.

'Well, what seems to be the problem?'

Rhonda was over the moon with the results of her first-ever face-lift.

Institute (brain).

"Do you ever regret having breast implants when you were younger?"

Vinnie's Tanning Salon.

"When I actually was this age, I didn't have much facial expression anyway."

Botox injections

This is my report on my summer vacation, and that's my script doctor, Murray, who helped me punch it up a bit.

"So you went ahead with the facelift?"

"Like my dazzling smile? My teeth are capped with LEDs."

"Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you no longer own him."

Moses and the Screenwriter: 'Accurate-Shmaccurate...if you want this story to sell, it needs some punching up.'

Dr. B.R. Shutin. Optician.

'I'm flattered by your imitation, unless you just want to be taller than me.'