Vision Improver Gifts

'This is one of our best-selling contacts. Price includes artificial twinkle.'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

I'm sorry Miss, but your artistic license has expired.

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

Patient with a drip on a micro scooter.

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

Man looking in mirror and says 'help'.

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

"Quick! Toss me the stalest one you've got!"

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

Don't be afraid of criticism. Openly ask for feedback so you can improve service.

'Make sure they fit straight!'

"So when did you interest in health and safety start?"

'I was struggling to see further than one kilometre, but thanks to laser eye surgery, I'm fine now...'

'Still getting the hang of laser surgery'

"Do that thing where you leave."

Contacts vs. Glasses

'About this 50% error rate of yours, Billington . . .'

"I knew these old ashtrays would come in handy someday. We'll use them as tip trays!"

"They're not identical twins—they're surgical twins."

'I must say, Simms, when you're hot you're HOT but when you're not you're NOT!'

"I passed the eye exam! I am now qualified to do watch duty!"

"No, this isn't the post office, but it's probably just as well you came."

Cook-In.

'How do these glasses feel?'

Toilet Roll Dilemma