Hearing Enhancement Gifts

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

Older lady to husband surrounded by dogs: 'Still getting feedback from your hearing aid?'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

"Thanks to my hearing-aids, I can fly safely and hunt again..."

'If I was wearing my 'what'?!'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Stock photo, right?"

"Breast implants, filler and botox for your missus doesn't fulfill our home improvements criteria."

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

People talking through a stethoscope.

'We can't put it off any longer, we must book hearing tests.'

Reaction News: All the news you thought you heard.

Old People Whisperer

"I said, you have a suppository in your ear so I think I know where your hearing aid is."

Institute (brain).

Medical Silicon Paste.

'Well, what seems to be the problem?'

Rhonda was over the moon with the results of her first-ever face-lift.

Deaf Musician

"Do you ever regret having breast implants when you were younger?"

"Don't worry, with a hearing-aid, you'll be able to hear the farmer's whistles and shouts again..."

"So you went ahead with the facelift?"

"What's the least spoken language in the world?"

"Like my dazzling smile? My teeth are capped with LEDs."

General Haseltine Crossing the Potomac to Testify

"When I actually was this age, I didn't have much facial expression anyway."

2020 was a rough year for lip readers. (sad man wearing a mask, not able to read lips)

'I'm flattered by your imitation, unless you just want to be taller than me.'

Dr. B.R. Shutin. Optician.

Audiology!!

Before and after pictures of Dorian Gray in cosmetic surgery.