Vision Issues Gifts

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Large print e-book.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Hospital Departments

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Musical Eye Test

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

"With the new year approaching, I was hoping you could help with my resolution...."

The Pessimetrist.

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

'No,if you'll read the eyes-in-the-back-off-your-head chart, I check your mom vision,'

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

George Washington's Birthday

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

Hen to optometrist about chicks: 'I'm here to check my peepers.'

"The side lenses will help you maintain visual acuity when looking askance."

'Make sure they fit straight!'

Header: Franchising of Optometry Caption: 'With every new pair of glasses you get a cheap plastic toy of a character from the latest kids movie'

"I'm here for an examination, my ditzy missus thinks I may need glasses."

'It quickly became apparent that Optometry was not the right career choice for Errol'. 'Is that the right one? I can't tell!'

"Let's say that's better without, shall we?"

A footballer is having an eye test.