Visual Health Gifts

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

'So having trouble with your eyes.'

"You see spots in front of you? Have you cleaned your glasses lately?"

"How many do I need to get wrong to win the glasses?"

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

"Hey - long time no see. . . !"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

What the Doctor Ordered

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients