Eye Health Gifts

You should have come in sooner.

'Even if everyone does say you're blind, sir, I still have to examine you myself.'

'No, it doesn't connect to an X-box!'

'I think your intraocular pressure is very high.'

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

Milton cheats on his eye exam.

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

"Your hindsight is 20/20, but your foresight is legally blind."

"L. . . E. . . my crippling fear of intimacy. . . H . . ."

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

If you experience eye strain at work, simply focus momentarily on something far away.

'Marvelous Makeovers. Hair by Debby, Nails by Fawn, Laser surgery by Dora.'

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

"I see a lot of this. Your eyes are stuck in a down position -- try not to look down at your phone so much."

'Well, it looks like you need trifocals!'

'Fine, I'll take them.'

Ophthalmologist, Optometrist, Optician, Optimist.

"Your vision isn't great. I'm going to recommend getting buttons."

'You really do need new glasses'

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

'I still can't see a thing. Do you have an easier eye chart?'

An Optometrist's sign in the form of an Eye-test chart.

'You mean you can't even read the top line.'

'How do these glasses feel?'

'I can't read a thing. You're holding the card much too close.'

'My wife tells me I need glasses but as usual she is wrong'

A frame of opticians

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"You can't read that? Okay, you really do need some glasses."

'I've got something in my eye, doc.'

"I said... I'm here for my eye exam!"

"There's a letter here from your optician, dear."

'I'm not so much concerned about seeing floaters in my eyes as I am about the fact that I'm seeing inflatable duck floaties.'