Vision Issues Pillows

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Large print e-book.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Hospital Departments

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Musical Eye Test

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

"With the new year approaching, I was hoping you could help with my resolution...."

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

The Pessimetrist.

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

Hen to optometrist about chicks: 'I'm here to check my peepers.'

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

George Washington's Birthday

Guide dog looks at ball that has gone over wall.

'It quickly became apparent that Optometry was not the right career choice for Errol'. 'Is that the right one? I can't tell!'

"I'm here because I keep bumping into old friends. Like, literally bumping into them."

"I'm here for an examination, my ditzy missus thinks I may need glasses."

Dr. Harper had a special eye exam chart made for hieroglyphics professor patient.

A Pirate at the Opticians.

"I think an IQ test would be more appropriate at this time."

A footballer is having an eye test.