Vision Testing Pillows

"L. . . E. . . my crippling fear of intimacy. . . H . . ."

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

Sight test with a violin.

"This is not a good start, is it!"

"All other letters have been disallowed."

Hospital Departments

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

Can't read 'SLOW'.

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

Childrens Eye Test

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

Budget Opticians.

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

"Well, Mr. Swanson, I don't know that I can help you improve your standing in your focus group, but I can definitely check out your visual focus."

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

The Seeing-Eye Squirrel

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

Malcolm realised he might need glasses when he realised his adjustable reading poles couldn't be extended any further.

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'

"Is it just the merciless sun playing havoc with a man's senses?"

'See what I mean? Your eyesight's fine, you just don't look very good.'

Guide dog reading paper over a man's shoulder.

Myopic Guy with Gun Collection

'Sorry - I was just for Christmas.'

Fly Eye Chart

Good News, You have perfect 20 vision!

Optometrist: Eyes Examined While You Wait.