Vision Assessment Pillows

'I can't read a thing.' 'You're holding the card too close.'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

Hospital Departments

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'It's Blurred.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

Musical Eye Test

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

Cat Eye-Exam

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'