Vision Aficionados Gifts

'Do you have this chart in Big Print'

A Man with poor eyesight has misjudged the Optometrist's door and smashed into the wall

The Artist

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

Easter Candy Island.

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

Donald Glover

'Now watch our sales increase.'

The wedding party take selfies at a wedding

It feels so weird when I forget my watch.

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

Ether Island

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

"Please mum - not the baby photos."

"What, another live person?! Listen, do you have any computers over there I can speak with?"

Great Moments in Art History: 1898 Francis Barraud finds inspiration after having his dog spayed.

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

Museum of Art and Science. Monet. "Claude Monet, the father of impressionism, was a master of light. He sometimes painted in series, showing the passage of time with evolving sunlight and shadows." Einstein. "Albert Einstein won a Nobel Prize in Physics for his work in the dual nature of light, behaving like both a wave and a particle, and how this duality explains the photoelectric effect." I love that! Even though Einstein and Monet both worked with light, the only thing their work has

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

Ghosts from around the world

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

Al, have you ever seen the movie "Harvey"? That rabbit was imaginary, but you must believe me: my wolverine is real!

"So, professor, in a post-industrial robotic universe, what would be the role of politicians?"

"Here we have an all natural rock – before being artistically processed and stripped of its natural richness."

Janet Leigh

'I used to equate life and art -- then I married Art.'