Tv Aficionados Gifts

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

'Thanks for coming Bob, the reception was terrible before...'

More Life-Wasting Dross For Your Dumbed-Down Mind

"Let's watch some TV to take our minds off the Lockdown."

"Man is the only animal I'm afraid of. A well fed lion has no ambitions."

"You're watching The Bum Channel."

'Now I can tape my soaps during the day and watch them at night.'

'Santa has been and he's taken our telly...'

'Is there a Nobel Prize for viewing?'

'It's a sign of the times -- they just built a Starbucks on Sesame Street.'

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

'I'm glad school's out for the summer. I'm much happier in my natural habitat.'

TV Bookends

'Sorry nobody came to the phone just now but we thought the ringing was coming from the TV.'

'Oh dear,looks like we're in for the home cinema experience tonight!'

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Television Readers.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."