Television Aficionado Gifts

Rodney kicked off his new fitness regime by buying a heavier remote control

Please stay tuned. The world has temporarily gone insane.

TV - Please stand buy. We've run out of ideas.

'Get real! Reality is, Reality sells'

Attention seeking perfume

Worshiping the TV.

Sex, lies, leftover tuna casserole, and a videotape

'Quick! Cover the dish! -- here comes the Dalai Lama!'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'Our next guest is an economist who is the author of the first economic theory that proves that money makes the world go round.'

'There's a mistake. I ordered a TV, not an A.T.V.'

In reality ..T.V. Show.

"We interrupt this programme to warn viewers that programmes may sometimes be interrupted."

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

"I'm just saying' – seventeen TVs in this joint and you can't turn one to the dressage championship?"

"Ken bats left-handed, enjoys cultural as well as outdoor activities, and seeks a sensitive non-smoking woman for a lasting partnership that includes long walks, good music, and fielding practice."

"That's the catnip channel. We had to take it to get the cheese channel."

The Icebreaker

Maps to talk-show guests' homes.

Miami Vice

"You know, Einstein never watched any great television until after he was forty."

"And now let's welcome, for the first and last time . . ."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"The end of 'Shark Week' is near!"

"We opened our newscast with the question, 'Did a U.F.O. land on Staten Island?' We can now report that did not happen."

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

"If we stand here long enough someone will offer us a reality show."

"Yes, but I'm not just any judge, I'm a TV judge."

"It's the end of civilization, true. But the television is superb."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

A pirate finding a trophy in a treasure chest

"Not to brag, but every TV show I'm currently watching has been nominate for multiple Emmy awards."

"We've agreed, then—earthlings cannot join the Intergalactic Federation until they've improved the quality of their sitcoms."

'I don't know but I think I liked last season's TV violence better than this season's.'

'You see Gran, It's not just any old piss poor signal: It's your state-of-the-art, digitally advanced - piss poor signal!'