Telly Aficionado Gifts

Remedy for the incurable romantic...

'Come on over and watch the sunset.'

Wife leaving home takes TV set instead of suitcase.

Boring Theatre

Mind control

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Television Readers.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

TV-Man

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV jester.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Love is when you watch television together.

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Big screen TV.

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."