Tv Program Aficionado Gifts

"Has it been in your family long?"

'Marm misses Simon Cowell.'

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Television Readers.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

Applause

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

Love is when you watch television together.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Love is when you watch television together.

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

100 best beheadings

Succession 2

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'