Telly Addict Aficionado Gifts

"He's a model husband - still life!"

Showbiz Awards

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Television Readers.

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV jester.

TV-Man

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Love is when you watch television together.

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Which news channel should we watch?"

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Big screen TV falling through floor

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'