Telly Addict Gifts

'If reading books is so important, how come you never see people on TELEVISION doing it?'

Wake up love it's time to go to bed!

'Where does this go?'

'I'm disappointed. I thought this was a show about Contract Law.'

"It cost $699. But when you factor in the time wasted sitting in front of it, well, the real cost is enormous."

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

"You said you wanted me to read more, so tonight we're watching one of those movies with subtitles."

Customer to TV repair man - "Thank god you got here. I was beginning to wander around."

'If the 11 o'clock news gives you insomnia, don't watch it.'

'Don't you know too much TV is bad for your eyes...and your morals, attention span, intelligence...'

'Could you move your chair just a skosh to the right? - We can't see the TV from our hole.'

"Sunday night TV programmes are enough to drive people back to church!"

'I hate to see the waste their TV privileges.'

'Working from home is great! You can keep your mind occupied watching daytime TV.'

'But I can't go to bed yet, Mom. Kids watch an average of seven hours of TV a day, and I've only watched five and a half hours.'

"But you told me to go out and get some fresh air!" (Kid has taken the TV outside.)

'It's repetitive strain injury - try using the thumb on your other hand for the television remote.'

Reality TV

'Don't you know too much TV is bad for your eyes...and your morals, attention span, intelligence...'

Executioner watching TV.

'I'm just going to our front gate for a chunner!'

'You missed it. He changed his first channel!'

'Do you have a book tht's so bad I can watch TV without feeling guilty?'

'It just so happens that I LIKE shows geared to a 12-year-old mentality!'

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

'It just so happens that I LIKE shows geared to a 12-year-old mentality!'

'I married him for his money and believe me I earned EVERY penny!'

'Whoa! What are you doing?' Husband asks wife as she blacks out the TV.

'You had to go one better, didn't you?' - Remote Control implant.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'I preferred it before we had high definition television.'

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

'This is your last wish. Are you sure you want to use it to change channel again?'

'Tell 'im we don't vote for a Party that don't do anyfink!'

"He's so lazy, if his horse wins I have to jump up and down with glee for him."