Vintage Vehicle Voyeur Gifts

De Luxe Outfit for the Cat Burglar

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Convertible. Must be nice."

It's great for pulling the birds!

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

Run from the hills!

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

A train's dining car is a diner.

James May

'The old woman who lives in a shoe gets a camper van.'

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.

"And do you, Bob, promise to treat Karen as well as you treat your vintage 1950 Indian Blackhawk motorcycle?"

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

'Every time I pass through here I get heartburn.'

"And this dashboard has all the electronic distractions grouped into one convenient confusion cluster."

'I don't think Charlie will ever get used to these auto-mobiles.'

Brighton Rocky

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

Full Serve/Elf Serve

The Toilet of Helen - For Beardsley's Story 'Under the Hill'

"She's family."

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

'Bob will be along shortly to marry you. He's looking over a mint-condition, 1965 Mustang that just went on sale.'

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

60s vs. Over-60s camper van

"I want one that's going to fall apart. . ."

"There's no need to scream. The plane may be old but she was built for aerobatics."

"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."