Vino Philosopher Gifts

"If it's really his private reserve, what's it doing for sale?"

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Wine glass face.

'You lifted your head.'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Redhead

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

Nouveau wine

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

Pizzas

"May we see something from local hydroponically grown grapes aged in casks made from non-endangered trees?"

Einstein tests his pasta-antipasto theory.

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

'None for me, thanks. It might improve my mood.'