Vino Visionaries Gifts

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I don't like to take chances.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

Nouveau wine

"He's really excited about this new proposal to let staff take over services."

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

"May we see something from local hydroponically grown grapes aged in casks made from non-endangered trees?"

"To accompany a dish of Fire Ants, I would recommend a Chateau Condat 92..."

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

'None for me, thanks. It might improve my mood.'