Philosophy Of Wine Gifts

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

A Good Year.

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

'I nearly made it through culinary school selling wine books - then their library caught on.'

Pizzas

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'I failed my wine appreciation class. I swirled, sniffed and spilled out every sample perfectly. If only I had remembered to taste them.'

Scariest Tactics

'You want a pizza with everything -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that'

'If you'd like to, you can discuss the question of eating genetically-modified food with our staff ethicist.'

"Of course no one is drinking the wine - it's the Murder Mystery Writers Association."

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...oh, hell, give me another one!'

"I'm getting earthy overtones of guilt, with just a hint of sexual frustration."

Recreational and Medicinal Wines

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

Advanced course at the Wine Appreciation Institute in my house.

'He'll want you to try the Winelich maneuver first, instead of the Heimlich -- it brings up the food, but leaves the wine.'

'What's the definition of an ideal man? After he's made love for hours, he turns into a pizza.'

A nice Chianti?

"There, but for the wrath of my wife, go I."