Philosophy Of Wine T-Shirts

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

'I nearly made it through culinary school selling wine books - then their library caught on.'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

A Good Year.

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

Pizzas

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

Scariest Tactics

'I failed my wine appreciation class. I swirled, sniffed and spilled out every sample perfectly. If only I had remembered to taste them.'

'If you'd like to, you can discuss the question of eating genetically-modified food with our staff ethicist.'

'You want a pizza with everything -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that'

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...oh, hell, give me another one!'

"Of course no one is drinking the wine - it's the Murder Mystery Writers Association."

"I'm getting earthy overtones of guilt, with just a hint of sexual frustration."

Recreational and Medicinal Wines

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'

Advanced course at the Wine Appreciation Institute in my house.

'He'll want you to try the Winelich maneuver first, instead of the Heimlich -- it brings up the food, but leaves the wine.'

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

A nice Chianti?

'What's the definition of an ideal man? After he's made love for hours, he turns into a pizza.'