Wine Wisdom T-Shirts

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

In the Guru District

The Vineyard

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Sauvignon Bonk

Bacchus.

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

Pasta

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"I make it myself!"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"He gets easily abstracted."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'