Wine Wisdom Seeker T-Shirts

Advanced course at the Wine Appreciation Institute in my house.

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'

"Teaching him to use a knife and fork was easy but he still can't tell a Merlot from a Chianti!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Feel free to take notes."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Bacchus.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"