Wine Wisdom Seeker Gifts

Advanced course at the Wine Appreciation Institute in my house.

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'You said you wanted a book on how to enjoy wine. This is the only 'book' you need.'

"Teaching him to use a knife and fork was easy but he still can't tell a Merlot from a Chianti!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Feel free to take notes."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Bacchus.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Sauvignon Bonk

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'Oh, crap.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"