Wine Adventurer Gifts

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

White Wine Rafting.

"Ray says he serves his homemade wine this way for the presentation, but believe me, it's because it improves the taste."

"I'm looking for a red with a fruity bouquet, lightly peppery on the palate, and will get me smashed in under 3 glasses."

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

Oh, let's get crazy and order a red!

"This wine has hints of rebellion with a lingering finish of rugged individuality - did you buy this to defy me?"

Wine surfer

Sommelier Life: ". . .I'll have the first three in the same glass. . . thanks pal!"

"I need to buy a really good bottle of wine, as a gift, and I know absolutely nothing about wine. Can you recommend one?"

Varietals are the spice of life!

'So there I was, alone in the aisle, heart pounding, without a bloody clue as to what wine I should bring our hosts.'

'We're planning an organic barbecue- what have you got that goes with road-kill?'

'I failed my wine appreciation class. I swirled, sniffed and spilled out every sample perfectly. If only I had remembered to taste them.'

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

'I ran out of wine bottles, so I used empty peanut butter jars. How do you like your Merlot, creamy or extra chunky?'

'He's giving us a final request? Ask for a glass of Beaujolais Nouveau - that'll give us till November.'

'We were all out of white wine - so I took the liberty of squeezing out a glass from the Dijon mustard.'

'If you're going to sneak your discarded wine bottles into my garbage pail, at least let me assist in emptying them.'

'I started this vineyard 20 years ago, with absolutely nothing, and today I can proudly say I don't have less.'

'Frank makes it himself; it's the perfect wine--to serve with haggis.'

'Have you got any bin ends to go with road kill?'

Blue wine

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'Can I interest anyone in a Chateauneuf-du-Popsicle?'

"Be careful, Thornton - that last bid could be the wine talking."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady