Viniculture Adventurer Gifts

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

Cow Pilot.

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

Wine: New & Old!!!

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

'It looks like blood, tastes like Ribena, I just hope it gets me drunk,'

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

'My first day in our vineyard wasn't a total loss, honey. I found two pennies.'

"May we see something from local hydroponically grown grapes aged in casks made from non-endangered trees?"

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

Eden. There's great leaves to wear growing on this vine. Ah, it's the new summer clothing line!

Blue wine

'I failed my wine appreciation class. I swirled, sniffed and spilled out every sample perfectly. If only I had remembered to taste them.'

'I see we'll be sampling the wines of New Jersey this evening.'

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'