Viniculture Enthusiast Gifts

'These are for Ken's homemade Chenin Blance. Trust me, you'll need them.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Bacchus.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Man...You age great!'

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

"I think it stopped breathing."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"He gets easily abstracted."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."