Vintage Wine Enthusiast Gifts

"What a day! A brilliant sun, an azure sky, the air like vintage wine! By George, I've half a mind to do a bit of profit taking!"

Wine Making Society (Press buzzer on the floor).

'How come your oldest vintage is on the top shelf?' 'I can't reach up there!'

A very fine vintage

'Who needs central heating? I've got plenty of vintage port.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'A cheeky red?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Sir Winston Churchill

Wine Lady

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"Now I really hate poetry."

Bacchus.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Sauvignon Bonk

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Second hand furniture.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'