Vintage Vino Enthusiast Gifts

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

"Can you recommend a wine to go with this wine?"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Redhead

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

Portfolio, 2011

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

A very fine vintage

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

-A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

Wine: New & Old!!!

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

'He left it to me. Isn't a double Salmanazar of '55 Chateau Cheval Blanc the perfect match with the side garden salad?'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

'We let 65 people try the '03 Malbec and told them they couldn't just describe it as 'good'. The result: 65 said it was 'very good'.'

'I see we'll be sampling the wines of New Jersey this evening.'

Drinking wine has never been a spectator sport.

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

'While 10-15 years of cellaring are recommended and would certainly improve the bouquet and taste, no, there'sno reason why you can't go out back, behind the dumpster and down the whole thing in 1 chug.'