Vintage Vino Lover Gifts

"It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."

'I'm not hung-over, I've got wine flu."

A monk plugs a leaking cask of alcohol with his finger.

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'We just turned wine into water! We'll make a fortune in California!'

Cocktails on the verandah.

Wine Lady

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Military Medals

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Early Piety

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

'I know I complimented you on that outfit last time you wore it, but that was in 1980.'

Redhead

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Opening the Barrel

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

Swells - Men's Fashion

DIY enthusiasts find a time portal behind their old wallpaper

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."