Vintage Vino Lover Pillows

"It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."

'I'm not hung-over, I've got wine flu."

A monk plugs a leaking cask of alcohol with his finger.

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'We just turned wine into water! We'll make a fortune in California!'

Cocktails on the verandah.

Wine Lady

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Missing Sock Returns

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Military Medals

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Early Piety

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'I know I complimented you on that outfit last time you wore it, but that was in 1980.'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

Redhead

Opening the Barrel

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

Swells - Men's Fashion

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!