Vintage Wine Lover Gifts

The Colonel entreats with Sir Barnes Newcome.

Portfolio, 2011

"Serve them the cheap wine. We don't want to encourage these people to stay."

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Cocktails on the verandah.

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

The Missing Sock Returns

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Military Medals

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Early Piety

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

French wine

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

Yoga vs. Prosecco

A Macaroni in 1772

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"I make it myself!"