Viniculture Gifts

Serving wine - "I make it myself."

'Would you like to try some of our home-made?'

'The merlot is 100 merlot; the pinot noir is 100 pinot noir, and the chardonnay is 100 Swiss chard.'

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

'As long as it's not as a white, I'll chance it.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'These are for Ken's homemade Chenin Blance. Trust me, you'll need them.'

'I think we can skip the resume.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

Wine conniosseurs in hell.

'Yeah, dear, I got the stomping job at the vineyard--you didn't mention they make cactus wine!'

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

'He's been in the wine business so long, he can remember when Chateau d'Yquem as Cabin d'Yquem.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'... And this is my cellar.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

"I make it myself!"

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'